When you lose a loved one or close friend, emotions of all kinds are close to the surface. Grief is generally the foremost, but you may also be feeling sadness, desolation, futility . . . and perhaps even the tiniest bit of relief if your loved one had been suffering for some time before their passing. All of these emotions are perfectly normal and should be expected, but what happens when strong emotions bubble up during the funeral service itself?
Trying Not to Cry
Funeral services are often considered a time of sadness, when you reflect on all of the wonderful memories that you have with the one you have lost. However, difficult emotions can be embarrassing, especially if you’re someone who is prone to loud crying or sniffling. While you don’t want to excuse yourself and risk missing a part of the service, how can you attempt to keep control when it feels as though all control has been taken away from you? Experts recommend that you can attempt to control a flood of tears by pinching the bridge of your nose near the tear ducts, or to think of happy thoughts and memories while still being true to the service.
Lean on Each Other
Perhaps the best way to find support to cope with difficult emotions is to look for others who are also being challenged with their feelings. Grief can be an incredibly lonely emotion, but when you are able to share time with others, the burden can seem lessened. There are likely others in your area who need support, and by looking outwards you can often bring down your own emotional walls and provide consideration that takes the spotlight off of your feelings. This outward focus also allows you to see that there are others in need who can be comforted by your presence, which may have the added benefit of diffusing your feelings for the moment.
Even if your emotions are swirling as though in a whirlpool, look for a single thought or positive emotion around which you can center your thoughts. Practicing this mindful meditation may allow you to bring some calmness to your emotions, so you can make it through the service. As always, our staff at Mountain Valley Funeral Home and Cemetery are here to support you and your loved ones during one of the most difficult challenges that humans encounter — the loss of our loved ones.